Tips To Overcome An Addiction

 An addiction isn’t just related to drugs or alcohol. It can be anything that you’ve got a lack of control over. For example, you could be addicted to spending money on shopping, an addiction to sex or to gambling. There are lots of different addictions out there but they’re all common in their difficulty to overcome or simply to prevent it causing you a lot of heartache and stress.

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With that being said, here are some helpful tips to overcome an addiction.

Recognize That You Have An Addiction

The first stage of any addiction is recognizing that you have one in the first place. It’s important to acknowledge that it exists because only then will you be able to seek out the help and guidance that you need.

No one likes to admit that they have an addiction because it has so many negative experiences and connotations. However, not all addictions lead to such an extreme spiral. Some addictions might be a little tamer in nature. So with that said, recognize if you have an addiction and if it’s someone you know that has one, try to find the right time to express your concerns.

Seek Help

Seeking help is the next thing you want to do because it’s not always possible to do it alone and without that resource of someone or something helping you along the way. With that in mind, it’s good to look for any organizations or resources that can help in fighting the addiction. For some, it might be that you speak to someone you trust first before approaching professional services and help.

For some addictions, there are places you can go to, like a detox center for example. These are a great way to step away and get the help you need in a safe environment.

Avoid Any Obvious Triggers

Triggers are something that as an addiction, you want to prevent where possible. There are certain scenarios in which you can avoid a trigger and if that’s the case, then it’s important to help yourself and to seek out those problem points that are encouraging the addiction, rather than making it better.

Try to find ways of coping with the triggers whenever they come about. It’s important to address them and remove them where possible or remove yourself from the situation.

Be Kind To Yourself

It’s important to be kind to yourself. A big challenge when it comes to overcoming an addiction is the pressure you can put on yourself. Sometimes, you’re going to fall back into the addiction and that’s natural to do. It’s important that overcoming an addiction is one that will take time and it’s nothing something that’s easy either. 

So with that in mind, try to be more aware of how well you’re progressing and celebrating those wins. However, make sure that you’re not bullying yourself simply because you’ve fallen back into a habit or slipped up once or twice.

These tips will certainly help to overcome an addiction and get the assistance you need.

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Tips For Helping You Cope With A Bereavement

When somebody close to us passes, we can experience a wide range of emotions, some of which are unexpected, and it can knock us in a complete spin.   All of these emotions, from deep grief to fury, relief to sorrow, are healthy and valid.

If you have recently lost a loved one and are worried about how you will get through the next few days, weeks, months, and years, here are some coping strategies that may help you through the grieving process.

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How might you feel in the early days?

There are no right or wrong responses here, and everyone will have a different reaction. The following emotions and experiences, on the other hand, are entirely natural. Don't be concerned if you don't feel all of them or even some of them. Your feelings are valid, whatever they are.

Numb and in shock

When you learn of the death of someone you truly care about, especially if the death was sudden, it can be difficult to take in and digest the information, thus feeling numb and in shock is typical. Your brain sometimes takes a while to process the information, so you may feel like you are waiting for them to walk through the door or phone you as normal. While it does not sound helpful, feeling numb to start with can almost be a good thing.  If you are engaged in making funeral plans, such as where the funeral will take place, any hymns or music, flowers, and planning a wake, feeling numb surrounding the death itself can help you to focus on making these decisions.

Sudden swings in mood

You may find yourself bouncing between emotions quite quickly and unexpectedly, sometimes feeling multiple different emotions all at once. It might be taxing and make you feel as if you are going mad. But don't panic; this turbulence will pass, and your emotions, although not disappearing, will begin to smooth out.

You might find that you have unhelpful advice and well-meaning but insensitive comments to deal with. 

Most people who are grieving the loss of a loved one have to deal with well-meaning but useless and often very insensitive and upsetting advice and comments from others. Many people simply do not know what to say or do not know how to act - not because they wish to be unkind, but because even now, no one quite knows how to talk about death and our responses to it. 

Things you can do after the death of a loved one

Allow yourself to feel the emotions

It is okay to let yourself feel the emotions. If you feel like you need to cry, cry. If you want to shout and scream, or laugh or smile, do it. it is normal to feel guilty for your feelings, but it is also fine to feel them too - and try not to let anyone make you feel bad for how you choose to react.

It is helpful to discover ways to deal with this complex combination of emotions. If you can, speak with someone who knows what you are going through, whether it is a member of the family or a friend, someone in a support group, or a counselor or therapist. Try to get as much sleep as possible, exercise on a regular basis, and eat healthily. Some people believe that journaling, playing music, or painting and drawing are helpful outlets for their feelings.

Be kind to yourself

Grief does not go away in a matter of weeks, months, or even years. It can last a lifetime for some people. Don't worry about setting time limits or schedules for yourself, and allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve.

Build some new memories

You may never completely erase the sadness that you feel following the death of a loved one, but you can work towards creating new memories and stories to carry with you as you begin to go on with your life without them. It has been said that the best way to remember someone who has passed away is to create new memories in their honor.

 If they had always enjoyed going to a certain place or if they had always wanted to travel somewhere but have never gotten around to it, why not take a vacation there and build some memories in their memory? You could also look at commissioning cremation jewelry pendants for ashes, so that they can be with you wherever you are.

The practicalities after a death

This is dependent on your relationship with the deceased and your level of culpability. Assuming you are next of kin and are in charge of the practical arrangements, here are some of the things that you might need to do. 

Let family and friends know

Previously, the deceased person’s relatives would have an obituary or death announcement printed in the local paper. It is becoming more typical these days for folks to post it on social media or to send an email or text message to others informing them of the tragic news.

Let the relevant people and authorities know

Friends and family are not the only people who need to know. Sadly, one thing that always needs to be done is the formal registration of the death in order to obtain a certificate. After you have this, it is time to let workplaces, mortgage providers or landlords, insurers, banks, pension providers and so on know that the person is no longer alive. This is not an easy thing to do, and many organizations make it complicated, so have someone around to support you if possible.

Think about the funeral

This is your chance to say goodbye to the person and arrange a send-off that you know that they would have loved. Will you choose a burial or a cremation? What music will you have and flowers? Will you have a party or a gathering afterward to celebrate their life?

Coping with a bereavement is difficult, but these tips may help it feel just that little bit easier. 

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3 Ways To Instantly Feel More Confident After A Break-Up

If you have just been through a horrendous break-up, then the chances are your confidence is going to be shot to bits. It is never easy saying goodbye to somebody you loved, whether you instigated the end of the relationship or not. Nevertheless, there is plenty that you can do to begin moving on and to feel instantly more confident after a big break-up.

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1. Buy A Whole New Wardrobe

If you had been in a relationship for several years, then a vast majority of your clothes are likely to reflect your style when with your partner, and this may often have been influenced by them. You may even have a few clothes that were gifted to you by them for birthdays or Christmases that now provide an unwanted reminder of your past relationship. 

The best solution is to invest in a brand-new wardrobe and to reimagine your style. Many women change up their clothes after a long-term relationship ends and find this to be very effective in helping them move on. If you are feeling like really treating yourself, then some brand new lingerie is bound to get you feeling confident and sexy again - meaning you will be ready for when you start dating again. 

2. Consider Reinventing Your Appearance

Women love to change up their hairstyle after a break-up in a bid to reinvent themselves, so if you have been considering swapping brunette for blonde or vice versa - then why not give it a go? A new hair colour will instantly transform your look and give you the injection of confidence you desire. Changing your signature look with different make-up techniques is also a good idea.

If you have something more permanent in mind, then why not check out The Plastic Surgery Channel for inspiration and information on any cosmetic surgery you may be considering? This could be the confidence boost you needed to get back out there. Whether it is something as basic as lip fillers, or something more serious like breast augmentation, there is no longer a taboo about plastic surgery in 2021, so if you would feel more confident, then go for it.

3. Throw Yourself In The Deep End

You’ll either sink or swim with this tip - but for good reason! Getting yourself back out there is often the only way women can rebuild their confidence after a break-up. You needn’t do anything drastic - but it’s good to begin talking with new people and reminding yourself what it is like being single again. 

You may find that this sees you attract quite a bit of attention, which is an instant confidence booster for some, albeit a little overwhelming for somebody just out of a break-up. However you feel, it is important to persevere, as ultimately you’ll need to get back out there eventually in order to meet a new partner. Tackling this hurdle early means that your confidence will rebuild much faster than if you spend your weekend evenings isolated at home.

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Camo Bikini

Since my unfortunate experience of having the police called on myself and my husband for taking outfit-of-the-day photos in my own yard, I have had a lot more traffic than usual to my little blog.  This is decidedly not the kind of attention I wanted.  I am glad, though, and very thankful for the support I have received from some of you out there that can at least imagine it's not fun to have the police show up at your door when you've done nothing wrong, and asking personal questions like your name and especially, age.  There seems to be some confusion on some sites about what I was wearing, not that it should matter, but I was not wearing a bikini that day; I was wearing an ankle-length, maxi dress.  The bikini photos I have been posting after June 30th are my little way of protesting in case it happened to be a neighbor that called 911.  Today, I am posting several more from a front yard bikini shoot.  For all the supporters, there have been those out there that want to say lots of hateful things about me, my husband, and our age difference, etc.  It's unfortunate, but I will not be kept silent when I feel I have been wronged.  I truly believe the police could have handled the situation better, and did not need to respond to the call in the first place.  I really wish I could hear the 911 call, but the court refused, saying to access the recording we would need to actually have a case going to court.  We are still waiting to see if we will be able to read transcripts of the call, but I have my doubts this will ever happen.  I think this shows there is something very wrong with the justice system, and law enforcement in general.  Some have said I should not be complaining about law enforcement at all, because they are just doing their jobs.  I never said I hated the police, or that they are always wrong.  In the cases I have blogged about, I truly believe I have been treated with prejudice, whether it was because of my race, or the age difference of my husband and me.  For those that say they have to respond to all calls, please Google the question.  Common sense tells you they do not have to respond to all calls, seeing as how I've heard stories of people calling to report their dishwashers are broken, etc.  And, in fact, in some of those cases, the police go after the callers for for misusing the emergency line.

Blue and Pink Maxi Dress...with a side of injustice

My husband, who is over 20 years older than me was taking this outfit-of-the-day photo by this plant in our front yard.  We came inside and I edited the photos and my husband and I were sitting on our couch.  I was reading a magazine, he was playing a video game on a smart phone.  The doorbell rang twice, then there was a loud knock.  I looked outside to see there was a police car parked in front of our house.  My husband answered the door and the officer said there was a call about a 16 year old being photographed under duress.  I was asked to show ID, I asked if I had to and was told no, but I was still asked my age, and name.  This is not the first time an incident has happened that is similar to this.  I feel violated, and abused.  This complaint was ridiculous and unfounded and the police should never have violated the sanctity of our home to check on such a call.  I feel that my husband and I are treated unfairly because of our age differences; I KNOW we are.  If you are not safe from police questioning and harassment in your OWN home, then where are you ever safe to live in peace?  How is it that people that make these calls are not jailed for false reporting? I am a fashion blogger, I take photos nearly every day, sometimes on my own property.  I have NEVER had another problem like this when being photographed on public property, so it's even crazier that when the police are called it would be while my husband and I were on our own front lawn.  Now my husband says he doesn't want to photograph me in public anymore, or on our own front lawn.  He says he doesn't want to hold my hand in public from fear of being accused of being a child molester, kidnapper, etc.  Just why is it worthy of a 911 call if I WERE 16?  A man is not allowed to photograph a 16 year old in an outfit like I am wearing?  What if he was my father?  My paid professional photographer? What were we doing that someone felt the need to call 911 over?  The responding officer did not even apologize for wasting our time. I can only assume the person that called the police did so out of malice, or they are so stupid they have no business driving down the street. If you really believe in justice and equality and peace for all, please SHARE this story.

You can see three other posts about similar incidents here:
 http://libertadgreen.blogspot.com/2012/04/texas-border-patrol.html
http://libertadgreen.blogspot.com/2011/03/nightmare-in-torrence-ca.html
http://libertadgreen.blogspot.com/2012/04/gardena-police-department.html

My Easter

They're a little late, but here are some photos of my family Easter lunch.

This year, I re-stained our kitchen dining table, and I loved the results.  It was a little work, but worth it.  The dark finish looks so much better than the original that had faded and worn most of the way off.   The wine rack in the corner was also stained dark to match the rest of the furniture.  I think it look much better than before!

I think the setting was lovely this year.  I kept with an Easter/Spring theme and used pastel colors for the decor.

My family.

The first time I've had macarons for Easter!

 Another desert...cherry pie!

Knott's Berry Farm

Location Knott's Berry Farm

Jacket New Look

Pants Connection 18

Shoes Bates

 

Taken during my first-ever stagecoach ride!

Big Ducky

Shrug Yabes

Dress Finesse

Shoes Hush Puppies

Badminton

Necklace 99 Cent Only

Top Party Girl

Skirt 99 Cent Only

Christmas 2014

I cooked Christmas dinner this year, which included ham, salad, bread, etc.  

For dessert we had cherry pie!

 

 My father, mother, and and my husband, all wearing the cute Christmas cowboy hats my mother got for us this year.

The earrings, sweater and one of the necklaces I' wearing were gifts from my grandmother Nancy.

Hat: 99 Cent Only

Sweater Reference Point

Skirt Cotton Express

Santa Monica Pier

These photos we taken during a fun day at the Santa Monica Pier with my mother.  We had a great time and took a lot of cool pictures.  My big, floppy hat was perfect for a sunny day at the beach.  I am always trying my best to avoid getting too much sun, and I wear sunscreen on my face everyday.  I am also wearing a wooden anchor necklace designed and handcrafted by my mother, Frances Green.

I love anchors!  I never really paid much attention to them until last year, but now I am a fan and have several clothing and jewelry items that incorporate anchors.  You can find my mother's anchor necklace, and several others that are nautical themed here.

Hat 99 Cent Only Stores

Jacket New Look

Necklace Frances Green

Dress Windsor

Bag Bally

Heels Steve Madden

 This was on the wall of a building a few blocks from the pier.  I thought all the white roses were beautiful!

These things always freak me out!

Was It The Red Fedora?

I'm guessing people don't like red, or fedoras, or especially red fedoras! Whatever the case, I guess I wore one heck of an outfit today! Walking with my husband today, a car went by, and someone yelled, "Are you going to have sex with that, mama?" Then, as we made our way around the corner at the next intersection, some guy yelled out his window, "Girl, you look like a dog!"  

If ever you forget that what you wear can really make a difference in how some people treat you, then days like this are a reminder.  Wrong or right,  people judge people.  And the clothing we wear is something people use to judge us.  I have found this to be true with my husband.  When we have been out together, people have made impolite comments to us, which I attribute to being a mixed race couple, or our age difference.  And it seems to be worse when we are not dressed alike.  For example, one day, my husband and I were in downtown San Antonio.  I was wearing a black skirt, heels, and a bustier top.  My husband was in worn khakis and a polo shirt.  A young man on a skateboard skated by and said, "You are too hot to be with that dork."  Other times, when we were both dressed well for events, we have received compliments on what a  nice looking couple we were.  

We consider ourselves to be in a free, progressive, civilized era, but the sad truth is, some things have not - and may never change. Small-minded people still exist.  And whether it is the color of the clothing we wear, or the color of our skin, or our sex, there are going to be people that have nothing better to do than hate and judge those different than themselves.  Apparently, even in the year 2014, there are still some people that think red is a color that only prostitutes wear.

I am sure most of us have thought about changing ourselves to fit better into society at some point in our lives.   When certain events have happened in my life, sometimes I have wondered if it had to do with the way I was dressed.  But being true to myself, I can't - and don't want to change who I am, or what I enjoy because of a few, hateful people.  I enjoy having fun with fashion.  I always have.  Some people like cooking, sports, or video games.  I love fashion.  To each their own!  I want to do what makes me happy, and I hope you will, too.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this outfit, and/or this subject!  Do you have any experiences where you felt like you have been judged because of what you wore? 

Hat Pamoa

Necklace  Made by me, with coins from my travels

Shirt Cha Cha Vente

Pants Jolt

Shoes Bates

 

Choies Hats · Trina Turk Shortsleeve Tops · Vince Camuto Leggings

My New Bike

Today I went for a short ride on my new Next bike.  I like how it is pretty much solid black, so it goes with everything :p

Beanie  The L.A. Shoppe

Jacket Heritage 1981

Sweater Seven 7

Leggings Fallas Paredes

Shoes Naturalizer

Bike Next

Christopher Fischer Cashmere Sweaters · Avenue32 Clothing · Arizona Girls' Outerwear

New Media Vault 5th Year Anniversary-Pre Oscar celebration

I attended the New Media Vault 5th Year Anniversary and Pre Oscar celebration with my parents, James and Frances Green.  Our photos we taken by photographer Bob Delgadillo.

On me:

Top Pereptions

Dress JFW by Just for Wraps

Purse Bijoux Terner

Shoes Speed Limit 98

Frances:

Sweater Essay by Sharon Anthony

Dress Together!

Shoes Naturalizer Classic

James:  

Jacket Stacy Adams

Shirt Izod 

Pants Haggar

Jurassic Quest

 My dad and I have a great time at the Jurassic Quest show that was held at the Antelope Valley Fairgrounds in Lancaster, California.  My dad and I have always been interested in dinosaurs.  The show was awesome, and there were many dinosaurs to look at.  We took a ton of pictures and video.  I think the show would be a wonderful experience for children that are interested in dinosaurs, and there are other activities for them, such as getting their pictures taken on top of a dinosaur!  

A day or so before the show, I wrote to Jurassic Quest via Facebook and asked if we would be allowed to take photos, they got back to me right away and said we could take all the photos and video we liked.  I really appreciated the fast response.

Dress Forever 21